ATTENTION: THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT.
Although I have never been given a one hundred percent confirmation, I among with millions of people all over the world are anticipating and preparing for the zombie apocalypse. Some say that the invasion will be the catastrophe 2012, whether it is or not, it is entirely important that you BE PREPARED. There are many ways in which you can prepare yourself, I'll talk a little about it and then move on to my own personal zombie survival plan:
- Like they said in Zombieland: CARDIO. As long as you can run, you can run away
- Stay hydrated, keeping up your own health is an obvious essential, but is sometimes overlooked
- Stay in groups, don't get singled out, they will gang up on you
- Stay away from water, there are plenty of species of zombie, who live in the water. Do not get caught as the catch of the day
- Don't wear baggy pants, tie up long hair, and remove any chains or bondage from pants, they have inhuman strength
- REMOVE THE HEAD OR DESTROY THE BRAIN BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY
As for my own plan, I know my neighborhood well enough, and the best place I have come to find, is my local bowling alley. People always ask, "Why a bowling alley?"
Lots and lots of hard blunt heavy objects, perfect for dropping from significant heights like the top of the roof.
In addition to the heavy instruments, there is a McDonalds, Taco Bell, Togos, and local gun store all in a two minute walking distance, perfect.
Be prepared lovelies, because as some of you know...
WHAT YOU DON'S KNOW CAN EAT YOU
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