I AM FROM VENUS

Why? Why ladies? Why do we insist on trying to tap into our men's minds as if they were our girlfriends? We hear every day, men are simple, men are simple. And we say, "NO. NO THEY ARE NOT. THEY ARE CONFUSING." We hint and we hint. Why? Is it because we like to be elusive? Probably not because we want whatever problem that is on the table solved. 
I think, it's because we are problem solvers by nature. If there's an issue with ourselves, or our friends, or the car, we're going to try to fix it. And in doing so, we expect others around us to become problem solvers, namely; men. If we give enough hints and "hypothetical" situations, maybe they'll understand what is going on in the deep complexities of our minds and figure out exactly what is bothering you. No. No. Simply no. It doesn't work like that. 
I never really understood the whole "men are simple creatures" until I was face to face with it. NOW I understand. 
So ladies, for the sake of your sanity and your man's, ditch the hints, and the situations, we all do it. Literally say one or two sentences that are the bare bones of your problem. "I feel _______ when ______." 
Its a bizarre thing to get used to since it's so foreign to us, but hey, sometimes change is good right?

DM

You think I'm pretty

Without any make-up on

You think I'm funny

When I tell the punch line wrong

I know you get me

So I let my WALLS come down

Down...

Before you met me

I was alright 

But things were kinda heavy

You brought me to life

Now every February

You'll be my Valentine,

Valentine...

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I 

We'll be young forever

You make me 

Feel like 

I'm living a Teenage Dream

The way you turn me on

I can't sleep

Let's run away 

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

My heart stops

When you look at me

Just one touch

Now baby I believe

This is real

So take a chance 

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali

And got DrUnK on the beach

Got a motel and

Built a fort out of sheets

I finally found you

My missing puzzle piece

I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I 

We'll be young forever

My heart stops

When you look at me

Just one touch

Now baby I believe

This is real

So take a chance 

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

I might get your heart racing

In my skin-tights jeans

Be your Teenage Dream tonight

Let you put your hands on me

In my skin-tight jeans

Be your Teenage Dream tonight

Tonight,tonight,tonight,

Tonight,tonight,tonight

likey tattoos

Simple yet elegant. 

What are you searching for?
You may not know now, but you'll know when you find it.

I love the idea of time and direction

Gentle giants, we can learn so much from them

Beautiful, wouldn't pick this quote, but the though is good.

do you know...

about trust? Of course, everyone does. Everyone trusts somebody, a best friend, a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a spouse, a lover, a dog, a cat, everyone has something. And every once in a while... uh oh... snap goes that thin wire conecting the t to the r and the u and the s and the t. 
        snap.
Snaps hurt. When you snap a rubber band against your wrist, when you snap out of a dream, when someone tells you to snap out of it. Even the word, snap, you hear the tension being thrown away just saying the word. 
That snap... everyone knows that snap. If everyone knows the pain, the shock, and the snap, why does it continue? Why, when you loop yourself to another person with that thin wire is it constantly in danger?
Why in those seconds when the scissors are closing down with the quivering wire locked between the blades. do you not think about the snap, about the damage that flexing your hand will do to that wire?


Some say it's the heat of the moment. I don't know about you, but I'v been in moments, I've had chances to cut that wire, but then I remember whose at the other end. I didn't pick up those scissors. Because as easy as cutting that wire would be, I know the snap. We all know the snap. The white noise that is burned into your ears and brain. The repeating imagery. The feeling like your stomach is going to fall out of your butt. That snap that cuts you from your normality and your routine.


And its amazing that once that wire is cut, the little triggers that bring you right back to white noise, imagery, and a gravity-prone stomach. Suddenly your right back there, you see it over and over in your head, and you remember that its not okay. You're not okay. 

home?

Its Saturday morning. Its rainy and windy. The campus is empty. They house is dark. Theres music playing. Roommates laughing. Each others clothes all over the place. Pieces of wardrobe from each of our three closets on all of us. My shirt here, her scarf there, her shoes, her hat, my jacket. Feels good. Feels comfortable. Feels like a home.
Feels like I finally found my place here, I'm happy with my roommates, we get closer everyday. I've grown up alot since I've been here. I can take care of myself, I can clean my place without being told, I can get my shit done. 
We're spending the day in Berkeley, gonna be goooood. 
They said it would be ok, and it is.  

indeed

do it

Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at stupid jokes. Cry. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell a jerk what you think. Laugh till your stomach hurts. Live life. Regret nothing. 

MISFITS

WOO so after like 3 or 4 days of sickness and staying in bed and what not, I finally got a chance to release all my pent up energy.... in the form of a Misfits concert. It was my first punk concert, aaand it was effing amazing. 
I highly recommend looking up Juicehead- they opened and were pretty awesome I must say. But damn.... that concert was pretty intense, moshing, drink throwing, screaming, getting thrown around...quite the experience. 
I put my mohawk up to go, and it was completely flat by the end of the night. 


I understand how people fall in love with punk now. It's releasing everything you're trained to keep inside. Animalistic, and nasty, and dirty, and violent, and gritty, just everything released. For once you just dont give a fuck, and your surrounded by people who are the same, and are listening to music that makes you want to punch something and throw your body around like you have epilepsy, and thats what its there for! gahhh....so releasing... I was so sore afterwards, and I smelled like mosh. Which I can only describe as beer, and weed, and  sweat, b.o., and hairspray (from my mohawk), and epicness. I have smelt epicness....its name is a moshpit. yeaaaa... walked out and my ears were ringing, they still are, almost a full day later, I was sore, I was tired, I was happy as a... I dont even know but I was happy as it. Definately needed that night, totally worth the money, and I got a t-shirt. 

3N3RGY

WOO IV BEEN REALLY SICK AND HAVENT REALLY MOVED OUT OF THE DORM IN LIKE 3 DAYS AND NOW I FEEL BETTER AND ITS 12:30 AND I REALLY WANT TO RUN AROUND AFTER BEING MOTIONLESS FOR ALMOST 12 CONSISTENT HOURS. YAY FOR STUMBLEUPON, FACEBOOK, AND INCESSANT BLOGGING.

you must be at least this tall to show love

    

           

  

dancing with myself

  

beautiful music...

your hand in mine by explosions in the sky

makes everything okay

listen to it, see what inspirations come to mind

everyone needs a little provoking once in a while 

much needed humor

lawl...hes special

back here...again

Im back at sonoma.... loverly
had a really boring and mentally storming day. i dont know what i want out of this experience and it scares me. i hope there are others in my place as well so im not completely alone. everyone says, give it time! itl get better, yea but what if it doesnt. im not a negative person, i dont usually see my glass as half empty, but in this case, im having trouble reaching that half full mentality. i think once i declare my major itl get better, but even then im not motivated enough to take the initiative to go talk to a dean or look through a catalogue or even study for a damn test. 
i loved being home, im so happy there. D makes me so happy, more so than many. and i dont know if he realizes that. i just want him to know that i dont want anyone else. yes i have met guys here, wonderful guys, but the one that has my heart is in fremont. and until he doesnt want it anymore thats where its going to stay. 


i listened to the poetic stylings of sam starr today. truly, truly talented poet. lots of mental visions, tears, and tuna this evening. 
class was dull, astronomy seemed to draaaaaaaag... an hour and a half to talk about 3 planets?
    -__________________________-        wtf. 


meh i need something to occupy my time now that the show is over, loved that show, miss it alot. gave me something interesting to focus on instead of all these freaking GE courses.... theyr the worst they really are.


miss my girls, miss my guy, cant wait to go home again

home

I love my home. I love the place, my house, my room, my family, my friends, the people, everything. I know where everything is, I know what to do, I know how to get there, I know I know I know. I love knowing. I had the most amazing Halloween weekend. D and I looked for costumes watched movies saw Fangs, had just good clean fun. Which is what I love. Its hard finding people who can share in the joy of good clean fun with me. At college all there is to do is party. Not really my scene. When it rains, all I want is to go run in the rain and puddle jump, and amazingly enough, I have found like 1 person who is willing to do that with me. My roommates are fine, boring, but fine. They don't branch out at all. I'm an adventurous person, I like to go do things, they dont. We get along fine, house living together is fine, but its not what it could be. I have to walk across campus to go hang out with my friend who will actually get off his ass and do something with me, but half the time all he does is play video games...

I didnt want to go to there. Weeks before move-in i was having panic attacks, and had that deep, instinctual gut feeling that the school was not a good fit for me... what do you know, its not.

My bridesmaids are here. The godparents to my kids are here. The people I spill my guts to are here. The people who know me better than anyone ever could, are here.

Everyone says stuff like oh! college! theres so many opportunities there, you meet so many new people. well yea but what if i'm not ready for that? What if I'm one of the people who is just genuinely NOT ready for college straight out of high school? Now what do I do?

Kc, Kristi, Daniel, Ha, Tommy, Brett: You guys are my best friends, thank you for everything youv done for my and sticking with me through this damn ordeal.