home

I love my home. I love the place, my house, my room, my family, my friends, the people, everything. I know where everything is, I know what to do, I know how to get there, I know I know I know. I love knowing. I had the most amazing Halloween weekend. D and I looked for costumes watched movies saw Fangs, had just good clean fun. Which is what I love. Its hard finding people who can share in the joy of good clean fun with me. At college all there is to do is party. Not really my scene. When it rains, all I want is to go run in the rain and puddle jump, and amazingly enough, I have found like 1 person who is willing to do that with me. My roommates are fine, boring, but fine. They don't branch out at all. I'm an adventurous person, I like to go do things, they dont. We get along fine, house living together is fine, but its not what it could be. I have to walk across campus to go hang out with my friend who will actually get off his ass and do something with me, but half the time all he does is play video games...

I didnt want to go to there. Weeks before move-in i was having panic attacks, and had that deep, instinctual gut feeling that the school was not a good fit for me... what do you know, its not.

My bridesmaids are here. The godparents to my kids are here. The people I spill my guts to are here. The people who know me better than anyone ever could, are here.

Everyone says stuff like oh! college! theres so many opportunities there, you meet so many new people. well yea but what if i'm not ready for that? What if I'm one of the people who is just genuinely NOT ready for college straight out of high school? Now what do I do?

Kc, Kristi, Daniel, Ha, Tommy, Brett: You guys are my best friends, thank you for everything youv done for my and sticking with me through this damn ordeal.